BUFFYBOT

 
I Was Made to Love You
Intervention

All begins when [Warren Mears] builds the perfect woman to be his girlfriend and names her April. Things work until Warren falls in love with a real girl, [Katrina], and "dumps" April. The robot, whose only purpose "in life" is make Warren happy, seeks him all over Sunnydale and its path ends up crossing with the Scoobies' and Spike's. Eventually, Buffy manages to stop April from killing Katrina and it runs out of battery.

Later, Spike drops by Warren's house and orders a robot for him — one that looks like his beloved Buffy, of course. From then on, Spike enjoys a little bit of fun with the BuffyBot, until the Scoobies find out about it and end with Spike's fun...

BuffyBot's Program

Hard Drive

Slaying

Locate Spike

Make Spike Happy

kissing01

kissing02

positions01

positions02

positions03

positions04

positions05

more

Willow

best friend

gay (1999-present)

witch

good with computers

Xander

friend

carpenter

dates Anya

Anya

dates Xander

likes money

ex-demon

 

Spike & BuffyBot +++Ordering It+++ Warren: How'd you get in here? Spike: Your mum let me in. I'm placing an order. Warren: I'm not making any more girls. Spike: Sure you are. And here's your specs. You're gonna make her real good for me. +++Meeting It+++ Spike: Some say it's better'n the real thing. Warren: Better than the real thing. Spike: She looks good, but what about the rest? A little walk, a little talk... perhaps a zippy cartwheel... Warren: Hey, she's, uh, great. You'll be real happy, I swear, she's got everything you asked for. All the extra programming, tons of real-world knowledge, the profiles you gave me about her family and friends. Spike: *All* the extra programming, right? Warren: Ah, the, the stuff that you wanted, the, uh, scenario responses, you know, the, uh, uh, special... skill ... All of it. Now, you said that I could leave- Spike: Wait. I'm not sure I'm a satisfied customer. She looks a little shiny to me, you know, uh... touch of plasticine... BuffyBot: Spike? Oh, Spike! Spike: She'll do. +++Enjoying It+++ Spike: What you searching for, Slayer, a weak spot?Try me, give me the best you've got. BuffyBot: Oh... Spike: Is that your best, Slayer? BuffyBot: No. Spike: Why not? BuffyBot: I, I wanna hurt you, but I can't resist the sinister attraction of your cold and muscular body. Spike: Maybe I should repay you for your gentleness. Maybe I should let you go. BuffyBot: No! No, Spike. Never let me go. Spike: You know you should be afraid of me. I'm bad. BuffyBot: You are. You're very, very bad. BuffyBot threatening to stake Spike: Spike: You can't do it. BuffyBot: I could never do it. I'm helpless against you, you fiend. They do it. And they will do it again: BuffyBot: You're evil. Spike: And that excites you? BuffyBot: It excites me,it terrifies me... I try so hard to resist you and I can't. Spike: Yeah? BuffyBot: Darn your sinister attraction. Spike: Are you afraid of me? BuffyBot: Yes. Spike: You know I can't bite you. BuffyBot: I think you can. I think you can if I let you, and I want to let you. I want you to bite me and devour me until there's no more. Spike: Like this? BuffyBot: Oh, Spike, devour me! Spike: All right. BuffyBot: Spike, I can't help myself. I love you. Spike: You're mine, Buffy. Cold water: BuffyBot: Should I start this program over? Spike: Shh! No programs. Don't use that word. Just be Buffy. Spike sleeps. The BufftBot leaves the crypt to do some slaying: BuffyBot: Hmm. I don't understand this. I-I did the slaying. I should be... Spike: Satisfied? BuffyBot: But I'm not. I-I'm all... my skin is all hot. Do I look hot to you? Spike: Always. BuffyBot: You better feel me to make sure. Spike: I can do that.

Xander and Anya see Spike and the BuffyBot having sex in the cemetery and they think Buffy is out of her mind:
 

BuffyBot: Oh Spike! You're the big bad... You're the BIG bad!

Willow gets very worried about Buffy's behavior and the BuffyBot makes things get worse when she is eager to explain how the sex with Spike happened:
 

Willow: Um... Buffy, this thing with Spike, i-i-it isn't true, is it? You didn't, you know, sleep with Spike? BuffyBot: No. I had sex with Spike. I'm sorry if it bothers you. You're my best friend. Willow: I-I am. And I, I always will be, no matter what you do. I, I'm just trying to figure out why this happened, and I, I think with... your mom and everything... everyone was being all sympathetic, and, and making you feel weak. A-and Spike wasn't like that. So, just this one time, you just... did something kinda... crazy. BuffyBot: It wasn't one time. It was lots of times. And lots of different ways. I could make sketches.

The Scooby Gang finds out about the BuffyBot when Spike is kidnapped by the hell goddess [Glory], who is after Buffy's little sister [Dawn] (who is, actually, the Key). The BuffyBot gets desperate and goes to the Scoobies for help. Buffy, who was traveling, arrives home and is annoyed when she learns that his friends didn't notice the BuffyBot was a robot. Eventually, they save Spike from Glory and the BuffyBot is broken. The vampire, although tortured by the hell goddess, didn't tell her that Dawn was the Key and Buffy is very grateful for that. She pretends to be the BuffyBot and goes to Spike's crypt to talk to him:

Buffy: Spike! You're covered in sexy wounds. Spike: Yeah. I feel real sexy. Where you been? Buffy: I fell down and got confused. Willow fixed me. She's gay. Spike: Will fixed you? I thought they'd melt you into scrap.   Buffy: They were confused too. Do you wanna ravage me now? Spike: Give us a minute. Got some bones needing mending. Buffy: Why did you let that Glory hurt you? Spike: She wanted to know who the key was. Buffy: Oh, well, I can tell her, and then you'll- Spike: No! You can't ever. Glory never finds out. Buffy: Why? Spike: 'Cause Buffy... the other, not so pleasant Buffy... anything happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. I couldn't live, her bein' in that much pain. Let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did. Buffy gently kisses Spike; just then he notices she isn't the bot: Spike: And my robot? Buffy: The robot is gone. The robot was gross and obscene. Spike is ashamed Spike: It wasn't supposed to- Buffy: Don't. That... thing, it... it wasn't even real. What you did, for me, and Dawn... that was real. I won't forget it.

The BuffyBot, fixed by Willow, is very useful in the ultimate fight against Glory, but ends up losing her head, literally. After Buffy's death, the robot (fixed again by Willow) takes the Slayer place in order to protect Sunnydale from the evil forces.

One day, when on patrol, she is damaged by a vampire and goes home. There, she finds Spike (who is baby sitting Dawn) and he tells the robot she should wait for Willow.

Later, while the witch is fixing the BuffyBot, the robot makes one of those exaggerated compliments, and Spike gets hurt, due to his immense love and respect for the real Buffy:

BuffyBot: Sorry I questioned you, Spike. You know I admire your brain almost as much as your washboard abs. Spike: I told you to make her stop doing that. Willow: I did. I mean, I thought I got all that stuff out of the program. Spike: Well, you've got her opened up, fix it. Willow: Sure. I mean, I have a lot of work here, but I'll see what I can do. Spike leaves BuffyBot: Did I say something wrong? Willow: No, it's not your fault. BuffyBot: I think Spike stopped liking me. Willow: That's not true, he-he thinks you're swell. BuffyBot: Then how come he never looks at me any more? Even when he's talking to me. Willow: He just gets cranky, the way vampires do. Now, just relax. I am gonna make you good as new. I promise.

The day Buffy is brought from the dead by the Scoobies, Sunnydale is invaded by the Hellions, a bunch of demons in bikes. After meeting the BuffyBot on patrol and finding out that the real Slayer is dead, they bring chaos to the city — not before breaking the robot into pieces. Spike finds her in the street, while running away from the Hellions with Dawn. The BuffyBot is gone:

Spike: Tsk. Look what those filthy buggers done to you. Willow's slap-and-paste job's not gonna do the trick this time. Robot's done.

Spike's evil. But you should see him naked. I mean really.

I fight with weapons.

Those are my weapons. Give me something big and sharp.

Spike's mine. Who's straddling Spike?

---

Screencaps from [Screencappiness]
 

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